Η μάστιγα.
Πρόσφατα ανακάλυψα το μικρόβιο "νασεδωνυφούλα" που εκγαθίσταται και παρασιτεί σε μεγάλο ποσοστό των γυναικών, συνήθως κατά την 4η - 5η δεκαετία της ζωής τους. Οι προσβεβλημένες από το μικρόβιο αυτό γυναίκες, που είναι συνήθως παντρεμένες, επιθυμούν διακαώς να δουν όλες τις γυναίκες γύρω τους με νυφικό: Προσοχή! Όχι ευτυχισμένες, απλώς παντρεμένες (αυστηρά με θρησκευτικό γάμο).
Αντίδραση των δειγμάτων με τη νύφη.
Η μελέτη μου ξεκίνησε από την παιδική μου ηλικία. Τότε, ζούσαμε σε ένα σπίτι, ακριβώς δίπλα σε μια εκκλησία. Κάθε φορά λοιπόν που γινόταν ένας γάμος, παρατηρούσα τις γυναίκες της γειτονιάς. Όσες δεν ήταν καλεσμένες, έπαιρναν ένα σκαμνί ανά χείρας και πήγαιναν προς το σπίτι που είχε την καλύτερη θέα. Εκεί, έφτιαχναν μία μικρή κερκίδα και παρακολουθούσαν συγκινημένες τον ερχομό της νύφης. Η κερκίδα αυτή είχε γίνει παράδοση στους γάμους κι έτσι, στο τέλος κάθε μυστηρίου, κάποιος αναλάμβανε να πετάξει μπομπονιέρες στον εξώστη των ακάλεστων.
Η γιαγιά μου.
Ένα μεσημέρι, πριν από λίγο καιρό, έτρωγα με τη γιαγιά στο σπίτι της. Η τηλεόραση έπαιζε στο background την 67η επανάληψη του "Dolce Vita". Ενώ λοιπόν βρισκόμασταν στη μέση του γεύματος, ξαφνικά ακούστηκε το παραδοσιακό "σήμερα γάμος γίνεται". Η γιαγιά, με απίστευτα αντανακλαστικά, γυρίσε το κεφάλι της και είδε τη σκηνή που ο κόσμος έχει συγκεντρωθεί στην εκκλησία και περίμενε τη νύφη. Μόλις ακούστηκαν οι κόρνες των αυτοκινήτων, η γιαγιά άφησε το πιρούνι κι εμένα στο τραπέζι, και χωρίς να πάρει το βλέμα της από την τηλεόραση, κάθησε στην κουνιστή της προλυθρόνα για να παρακολουθήσει! Η έκφρασή της, καθώς έβλεπε τη νύφη, έμοιαζε με πεντάχρονου κοριτσιού! Δύο ορθάνοιχτα μάτια και ένα γλυκό χαμόγελο ικανοποίησης στο πρόσωπό της, λες και πάντρευε κόρη! Ούτε η Παναγιωτοπούλου τόση χαρά! Εγώ είχα μείνει με τη μπουκιά στο στώμα και την παρατηρούσα! Για αυτή της την έκφραση, αξίζει να παντρευτώ από τώρα.
Ο γάμος της X.
Όταν πριν από χρόνια η X. ανακοίνωσε τους αραβώνες της, εμείς στο σπίτι ήδη την είχαμε παντρέψει. Η μάνα μου είχε βρει τι θα φορέσει, γίνονταν διάφορες εικασίες για το νυφικό, την εκκλησία, το γλέντι, τους στολισμούς. Εγώ, ως πιο δύσπιστος και κυνικός, συνέστησα ψυχραιμία και λογική λέγοντας "Μην ενθουσιάζεστε από τώρα, δεν ξέρετε πως θα εξελιχθεί το θέμα." Τότε η γιαγιά γύρισε και με πολύ άνετο στυλ μου είπε: "Ας κάνει το γάμο και μετά ας χωρίσει."
Η Μ. νύφη.
Πρόσφατα μάθαμε και για έναν άλλο επικείμενο γάμο στην οικογένεια. Τα σενάρια ξανάρχισαν και η μπάλα πλέον παίρνει και τις υπόλοιπες ελεύθερες ξαδέλφες που πρέπει να παραδειγματιστούν και να "πάρουν σειρά". (Ήδη έχουμε βαφτίσει και τα δύο παιδιά της Μ.) Η μάνα μου δε, έχει ενθουσιαστεί τόσο, που ανακοινώνει τα ευχάριστα σε όποιον συναντά! Στο μανάβη, στο χασάπη, στην εφορία, στο clubbing, στο γυμναστήριο... Αφού όταν σηκώνει το τηλέφωνο δεν λέει "Ναι", αλλά "Παντρεύεται η Μ, παρακαλώ;"
Και στα δικά σας.
Δηλαδή τώρα να μην σου πω οτι ορίσαμε ημερομηνία με τον Σάββα;;;;;;;Ε και εγώ δεν σου λέω οτι 12 Μαίου 2007 σε περιμένω στη Ρόδο...Όχι! Όχι! Μην με πιέζεις! Δεν σου λέω!!!!
Τα μάθαμε, τα μάθαμε!
Η ώρα η καλή! Άντε μακάρι να είμαι κι εγώ Αγγλία τότε για να έρθω κατευθείαν με charter με 2 ευρώ! :-p
Καλά δε θα θέλει κανείς να χάσει τη Νικόλ-αδελφή-νύφης, ψιλοπαράνυμφο, στα-μέσα-και-στα-έξω με τουαλέτες, γάντια και ουρές να σέρνονται.
Και last but not least, εσένα με νυφικό!!
Με το καλό!
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